We Crash Club 33 Part II: Club Harder

I’d apologize for the delays between posts, but anymore that’s pretty old hat, so if anything, I’ll apologize for this brand new post throwing off our consistent pattern…!

As a wrap-up of sorts to our blink-and-you’ll-miss-it tenure living in California, let’s discuss our trip to Disneyland’s hallowed Club 33.  If y’all don’t know, Club 33 is a super-duper exclusive, members-only (and for a price!) dining experience in Disneyland.

We’d been before, though I was such a nervous wreck the first time (where’s the lorazepam when you need it??) that the whole experience was a bit of a fog.  Of course, given the nigh impossibility of securing a reservation for us common folk, that’s NOT the kind of recollection you want to have.

So, when we had a pretty decent idea that we would be moving back to Philadelphia (though neither of us had gotten final, official offers yet), I decided to see if I could snag a reservation to celebrate new jobs/a farewell to California/Christmas-y sorta time/creating a hopefully memorable experience for us and our best pals in the Golden State.

And yes, if you’re wondering, I do know, however indirectly, a member of Club 33, and no, I will not tell you who he/she is and will not get you a reservation. I feel incredibly fortunate to have stumbled into this person and won’t risk any goodwill between us, no matter how much money you wish to make rain on me (I think that’s grammatically correct…?)

Tucked into the New Orleans Square land of the park, Club 33’s open air waiting area is a modified version of the old, publicly-accessible Court of Angels. I’d never seen the space myself, as it has already gone behind construction walls on my first visit to Disneyland. Vaunted by many in the Disney online community as Imagineering at its purest, I was excited to experience it–and it did not disappoint, especially the free hot chocolate made available on this chilly December night.

After the requisite photo shoot on the staircase, we were called upstairs. The restaurant, renovated and expanded since our first visit,  takes up a significant chunk of the second floor of many New Orleans Square storefronts. The main dining room overlooks Disneyland’s Rivers of America, where the Fantasmic! nighttime show plays.

Excuse my bleary eyes and dark circles in the photo above. We were on a redeye back from New York City the night before and had worked a full-day before dinner. My hair was about as on fleek (is that nu-gay for “en vogue” or something?) as its ever gonna be, though.

The only place in Disneyland where you can get alcohol. LIVE IT UP.

Dinner was pre-fixe at $105 (::crying emoji::) a person, and we could’ve opted for a caviar accompaniment for an extra…I don’t know, a lot of money. I don’t do fish, and it would’ve reminded me too much of the opening scene in Finding Nemo, anyway. Not for the faint of heart or wallet.

The chef sent out this little meat shooter thing before our courses began. I’m not fancy and forgot to write down the name, but it was tasty!

First course: the Prime New York of Beef Seared Black and Blue with Tarragon-Roasted Garlic Purée. 

Second course: French Quarter “Five Onion Soup” with Tasso Ham and Gruyere.

Third course: Grilled Diver Scallop and Gulf Shrimp.

Fourth course: Petit Angus Filet Mignon.

Final course: MONKEY BREAD HECK YEAHHH

The “Just Kidding, Here’s More Food as a Palette Cleanser” Course.

Compared to our first visit, I would have to give this meal the edge. Along with the physical overhaul, the menu was also revised by renowned Chef Andrew Sutton, who is also executive chef at Napa Rose and the wonderful Carthay Circle restaurant in Disney California Adventure. I greatly appreciate the opportunity to try both, but these courses seemed more confident and flavorful than the old Club 33 standards.

Now that the foodie shots are out of the way, time for more restaurant photos. Since we visited pretty late on a Monday night just before the crazy busy holiday season, we nearly had the place to ourselves. As you can tell if you compare photos from our first visit to these, the renovations were quite substantial (and, I’d argue, mostly for the better):

The new bar area, the Salon Nouveau.

This used to be a working French lift, commissioned by Walt Disney himself. Now, it is a much-maligned booth for one (??)

Let us know if you find us in the guestbook!

Note to self, never trust Lance alone with a camera:

All in all, our second visit to Club 33 was more magical (and definitely less stressful!) than the first.  With my expensive exclusive Mickey ears on to rub in everybody’s faces, we strode out of the restaurant like kings.

What a night.

Food Hangover

This post could also be titled, “You Know You’re Old When…”

I’m a guy trained since birth in buffet-style eating. Going to Old Country Buffet was not only a treat, but practice.  It’s a lot like running cross country…in the sense that it’s a test of endurance and you have to soil yourself so as to not slow down.

One of my first memories as a child was going with my dad to a Bob’s Big Boy in Maryland for the buffet breakfast and feeling disproportionately proud over consuming sixteen sausage links.

At a friend’s birthday party in elementary school, my friends were astonished that I could pack away eight pieces of pizza…as a fourth grader.

Eventually, I graduated to the minor leagues–college, where with a meal plan I could eat eat eat slightly grey taco meat and gummy pizza crust and it wouldn’t cost any extra.  I mean, I would be throwing money away if I didn’t devour as much as possible.  I’m nothing if not a man with an eye for a bargain.

On our first trip to Las Vegas, Lance and I were able to take advantage of a stellar promotion: all-day access to the MGM Grand’s buffet for just $30. Steak! Lobster! Crab legs! Heaven for a fatass like myself!

But all of this was years ago, and with age comes the Food Hangover.

A few days back, my office had a welcome lunch for one of our new employees.  Obviously, in a situation like this I’m going to take advantage of this opportunity for free food and gorge myself silly.

Except, like alcohol, my tolerance for the mass consumption of food has dissipated over time.  As I creep toward 30, there’s a fine line when eating (is this line called “being full”?) that I can’t cross anymore without suffering the dreaded Food Hangover.  And I got socked with it that day.

The Food Hangover probably isn’t as messy as your traditional hangover, but you feel a different level of gross.  Unlike in your youth, when your stomach and small intestine flex their muscles and say, “Don’t worry, we got this!”, you just can’t digest food as quickly anymore. That ball of meat and carbs will sit in your stomach for hours, if not into the next day, an infant-sized wad which, instead of creating a motherly glow, causes you to perspire with a cringe on your face.

There’s a lot of remorse, too.  “W-why’d I do this to myself?” you moan as you grip your tummy, seriously considering a laxative just to make the pain go away (hint: coffee is nature’s diarrhetic!)

The worst part of the Food Hangover is that it turns you into a sloth, literally weighing you down. “Just let me die,” you might find yourself crying, since the thought of doing anything else seems impossible.  You can’t even sleep because your food baby is pressing up against your diaphragm.

Unlike the hair of the dog, though, there’s no cure except time, and the solemn vow that you’ll never let it get this bad, even again.  “I’ve sworn off eating forever!”  But of course that never lasts.

::Sigh:: Gluttony is wasted on the young.

We Crash Club 33

Here’s the story of Lance+Jeff and Brian and Phil at Club 33…and how we almost ruined our chances of ever returning.

First, an introduction for the Disney laypersons: Disneyland’s Club 33 might be the holy grail for the most intense fans of Disney Parks.  And somehow, we got in.

Vancouver, Where Dreams Come True-ver (Part 3)

For Part 1, go past the washroom and then click here!

For Part 2, spend $18 on a six-pack of beer, sit back, relax, and click here!

—

Part of the outdoor exhibit at the Museum of Anthropology at the University of British Columbia. I’ll get to this in a sec…

Day 5: I was slow to get out of the hotel on this day, for three reasons: one, the homesickness described in Part 2, and the gargantuan amount of work-related e-mails to address (this was a work-trip, after all!), and the fact that it was raining. BOO!  Who the heck would ever plan for it to rain in the Pacific Northwest?  Certainly not I, who didn’t even pack an umbrella!

Walt Disney World 2012 Day One Trip Report

Above: Lance captures our time in Disney World (medium: pencil). I’m beginning to grow fond of the way he draws ducks.

Day 0: Okay, we’re off to the airport! I’ve got my Toy Story luggage tag, a fairly intense itinerary, and lots of excitement. LET’S DO THIS THING!

Book Review: The Disney Food Blog Guide to Walt Disney World Dining

Here’s an excerpt from the Disney World planning e-mail I sent Lance yesterday:

OKAY!

Here’s what I’ve compiled for our time at Disney.

Thursday, June 28th (EPCOT!)

Breakfast: Boardwalk Bakery (opens 6:30am)

Lunch: Sunshine Seasons (Future World) or Yorkshire County Fish Shop (UK pavilion)

Snack: Kringla Bakeri og Cafe (school bread, sweet pretzels; Norway pavilion) or Boulangerie Patisserie (France pavilion) or Karamell-Kuche (caramel corn, caramel corn cupcake; Germany pavilion) or Kabuki Cafe (kaki gori [shave ice]; Japan pavilion)

Dinner: La Hacienda de San Angel (reservation @ 8:15pm) or Via Napoli (reservation @ 6:20pm) or Les Chefs de France (reservation @ 5:00pm)

Other counter-service options (if we just can’t decide on something for dinner) include:

• La Cantina de San Angel (Mexico pavilion)
• Taqueria Del Lago (Mexico pavilion)
• Katsura Grill (Japan pavilion)
• Tangierine Cafe (Morocco pavilion)

After dinner: Downtown Disney [walk back to Boardwalk Inn, transfer to bus (19 min)]

I decided we don’t need to do Fantasmic! (the night show) at Hollywood Studios since they do a version of it at Tokyo DisneySea, so we can just catch it then.

So, when did I become so anal retentive about our Disney World trip?

One of the most stressful aspects of Lance and I travelling together is that we are both terribly indecisive, which can lead to time and opportunity squandered as we can’t come up with what to do or where to eat.

Well, I wasn’t having any of that in Disney World.  I wanted the following three things set ahead of time:

1. where we were going each day;
2. what we were doing each day;
3. and where we were going to eat.

Admittedly, I didn’t know much about Disney dining beyond the counter service pizza and hamburgers at places littered throughout the parks.  In the past, that was all I could afford and, honestly, I didn’t want to spend the time sitting down at a restaurant when I could be standing in line for the Country Bear Jamboree.

At some point in the Disney planning process, I stumbled upon the Disney Food Blog, a website, edited by AJ Wolfe, chock full of wonderful coverage, reviews, and PHOTOS! (blessed be the photos) of Disney dining.  I realized, after perusing DFB, that I could incorporate some finer dining into our trip to make it a more worthwhile experience, especially since we were staying at a Disney resort this trip and had more time to play with.

And, duh!, the biggest revelation for this Disney dining novice: I could also just find a character meal (i.e., a meal where characters like Mickey or Stepmother Tremaine from Cinderella [for real? who wants to see her?] show up and interact/take photos with the guests) and get all of my character photos out of the way in one fell-swoop as opposed to waiting in lines in the parks for hours, collectively. (We shoulda done this, Colleen, instead of waiting in Toon Town for an hour and then me calling you a bad name afterward out of frustration and exhaustion. The more you know..!)

The most comprehensive, one-stop-shop for all of DFB’s coverage is AJ’s The DFB Guide to Walt Disney World Dining 2012 e-book.  Not only is it updated annually, but as an e-book, it’s loaded with links to more extensive reviews and photo essays on their site, and is great to take with you to the parks on a smartphone (or, if you’re adventurous, a tablet).

A significant chunk of the book is dedicated to spelling out the different dining options (table-service, counter-service, character dining, signature dining, dining plans, advanced dining reservations, etc.) at Disney, the complexity of which can be labyrinthine, so I appreciated the straightforward layman explanations.

The book also comes with budgeting spreadsheets and sample dining itineraries which I found to be extremely helpful.  The list of recommended snack options (like the Norway pavilion’s school bread or the Dole Whip–how’d I never heard of this before??) has made it into our Disney vacay plan, as you can see above.

Lance will also be happy with the book’s comprehensive list of bars and lounges, which I’m sure he’ll need to utilize after one trip on It’s a Small World.

My one gripe with the book? Not enough pictures of the food!  I found myself going to the DFB site for more extensive photo coverage, or even Yelp and TripAdvisor.

The DFB as a whole is a great resource in maximizing your Disney vacation. The biggest downside is that it brings to your attention food and restaurants you probably wouldn’t have considered before, and suddenly you’ve made two dozen reservations for three meal times! (As seen above. Oops.)  My biggest disappointment about this trip already is how our discounted conference-rate room at the Boardwalk Inn doesn’t allow for the Disney Dining Plan to be added to it. Boo! Think about all I could’ve eaten then…

The DFB Guide to Walt Disney World Dining e-book comes in a bundle pack (which includes their main guide and separate, more extensive guides for Epcot and Magic Kingdom snacks) for $46.95, or you can buy the main guide separately for $18.95.

Highly recommended if you want to eat something different than hot dogs every day (but if you do, The DFB Guide covers where to find the best hot dogs! No joke), though I may be cursing its name after I’ve been to three buffets in one weekend.  Eep!

Disneyphiles! Where do you recommend to eat in the parks?

Kitchen Catastrophe: Pizza Dough(nuts) Interlude

Okay, okay, so I haven’t really been keeping up with the Kitchen Catastrophe Challenge.  This isn’t so much due to lil’ pup Ripley as it does to all of Rip’s indirect costs: dogwalker and vet visits and the like.  At this point, it seems like the dog is eating better than either of us (my Kitty Boo is exempt from The Fido Finance Effect: she will always be pampered).

So, in terms of food, we’ve had to be creative, foraging the cabinets and refrigerator for items, making do with what we’ve got (not unlike this dude from TLC’s “Extreme Cheapskates”).  Here’s what I’ve been able to make recently:

Homemade Pizza Dough

Mark Bittman’s pizza dough recipe from the New York Times has seen better days:

Kitchen Catastrophe: Week 3 Recap

I’m starting to suffer from “ingredients are expensive”-itis, everyone.

This past weekend, we went to Giant to buy ingredients for the two dishes below and I ended up spending around $40.

$40 for TWO meals.  I might as well have gone to Chili’s and gotten an appetizer AND a margarita instead.

Anyway, that alone may be enough to dissuade me from continuing to make things from scratch, especially when I’m only making for two and Lance hates leftovers.

That being said, I begrudgingly poured my $40 worth of confectioner’s sugar and Yukon gold potatoes into giant bowls and stirred. Let’s see what I came up with:

First dish: Spanish Chicken and Potato Roast

This plating would receive 10 points from celebrity guest Kathy Griffin on "Iron Chef America"!

Friends, a word of advice: whenever you’re making a dish with chicken in it, make sure to actually thaw the chicken first! I didn’t, and for whatever reason, the “cold water immersion bath” tactic just wasn’t working.  I ended up nuking the breasts (tee hee!) for a few minutes just to get them to be pliable.

Otherwise, this turned out pretty good.  Lance thought it lacked a little flavor, but that was probably due to an uneven distribution of the paprika-based seasoning.  I had a breast (hee hee!) that was covered in it which I really enjoyed.

Recipe archived for future use!

Second dish: Bacony Breakfast Cupcake

Rest assured, there is real, actual bacon in this dish, and not something faux.

Unfortunately, given that my nearly 2-year-old phone now refuses to keep a charge through the entire day, I wasn’t able to take a bunch of pictures.  Suffice to say, these came out okay, though I used a tray for mega-cupcakes as opposed to a regular cupcakes, so there ended up being too much cake in proportion to the frosting.

Also, this is definitely a pancake in cupcake form, so what I originally thought was going to be a sweet dessert ended up being more of a savory dish, especially with the chives and the bacon.  I might try a different approach next term and make pancake muffins with pecans in them instead.

And, frosting?  It actually IS better to wait for the cupcake to cool down so that your frosting doesn’t melt down the sizes of your panmuffcake.  I was able to take this one photo before it all went to hell:

What this recipe also doesn’t tell you is that, if you’re being all fancy and trying to make a frosting swirl, you should start on the outside and work your way in.  Why this never occurred to me is a mystery, and led to some janky-looking cupcakes.

[Sidebar: “Janky,” after being made fun of for years due to using this “made-up” word, is actually a real thing. So there!]

So this week was a bit of a setback. What’s the most frustrating about this is that, even though I am developing a comfortability in the kitchen which I was previously lacking, I don’t have this innate confidence that I see in many other people.  I have an inferiority complex, dammit!  I know a lot of that confidence others express is a result of decades of practice, which I don’t have.  Throwing myself into this crash course and forcing myself into the kitchen is the only way I’m gonna learn.

Kitchen Catastrophe: Week 2 Recap

…Or as I’ve started to call it, my Home Ec homework.

Okay, so Week 2 was a much more resounding-ier success than Week 1, mostly to do with the fact that all of my food actually maintained the shape it was supposed to.  Let’s take a look at the results:

I was originally going to make a Bacony Breakfast Cupcake, but considering I had  ~5% of the required ingredients on hand, I instead substituted out for Barefoot Contessa’s Strawberry Rhubarb Crisp.  This was surprisingly simple to make, so much easier than last week’s Flat Apple Pie that I kinda feel like I cheated.

I had an excess of strawberries in the fridge that were on the verge of going bad, which is why I began looking for strawberry recipes. Strawberry aficionados out there: when fresh strawberries become frozen on the inside and slushy on the outside, is that a bad sign? A handful of my S-Bs (“strawberries,” duh, but can also stand for “Starbucks”…don’t get the two confused!) were like this and I just threw them out since they made me nervous.

I have definitely never used rhubarb before in my life, and even had to Google Image search it to make sure I didn’t make a fool of myself in the produce section trying to figure out where it was.  To my rhubarb fans out there (can I get a “Heeeeeey!”), are you supposed to “skin” the rhubarb or just leave it on?  I did a mix of both since I didn’t want to add in too much flavor that wasn’t supposed to be there, or take away flavor that was.

The “crumble” part of the crisp.  Obviously, I need to find healthier recipes for this challenge or people will wonder why two fat gelatinous monsters didn’t have the shame to stay off the beach this summer.

…Aaaand here is the crisp upon completion.  Thankfully, it was pretty edible, nice and tart with the crumble adding a good texture and a baser taste for balance. I can really only see this being served accompanying ice cream (which Barefoot’s recipe calls for), since it’s a little messy and unattractive once on a plate or in a bowl.  And as you can see below, it’s super runny; I panicked at first and thought I’d done something wrong, but the commenters on FoodNetwork.com have the same criticism.

Barefoot, time to revisit this recipe! Maybe not so much OJ next time? I’d also recommend either cutting the S-B/rhubarb requirements by a 1/2-cup each, or increasing the amount of crumble you’re making, since the proportions seemed a little off.

So while that was in the oven, I began Sandra Lee’s Crouton Crusted Chicken Tenders with Orange Barbeque Sauce. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize there was no thawed chicken in the refrigerator, and after an unsuccessful bath under some water for about a half-hour (as recommended by Yahoo! Answers, the Magic 8 Ball of our times), I had to nuke them just to get the process along. Thankfully that didn’t sap the chicken of too much of its moisture.

My breading stations. Yes, Lance's "The Book of Mormon" keychain was integral in the preparation of this meal.

This dish could end up wildly different depending not only on the croutons used (this one called for Cheese & Garlic flavored) but also the type of barbeque sauce used.  I used Bull’s-Eye Kansas City, which is fairly sweet, though I wonder was a smokier BBQ sauce would produce.

Note: I subbed out regular bread crumbs for panko. Interestingly enough, panko tends to make your recipes healthier because their shape actually keeps out a lot of grease and oil.  The more you knooooow…!

[Also, as an aside, did you know that Bull’s-Eye (one of the cheapest brands you can buy) and Stubb’s (one of the most expensive) are some of the few BBQ sauces available in large supermarkets that don’t have high-fructose corn syrup in them?]

Uncredited cameo appearance by Kitty.

Ta-da!  I think these came out pretty well, and I would recommend them if you’re an easy and quick meal to throw together after work and don’t care about the fact that you’re consuming a lot of carbs, buttermilk, flour, so on and so forth.

All right, Week 2 is DONE! Feelin’ pretty good, but as with every Hero’s Journey, I need to remind myself of these sage words:

"Don't get cocky, kid."

The Donut Compromise

As you may recall, Friday is when we let our hair down and GO CRAZY at Ruby Tuesday.  While, as the designated driver, I enjoy a nice pomegranate tea, Lance prefers to imbibe on such put-hair-on-your-chest concoctions as the Georgia Peach and the Sunset Oasis (check Lance’s chest hair to see if this statement is accurate).

Now, as anybody who’s had a couple of dranks will know, the urge to munch is strong, practically impossible to overcome.  That’s why we made a pit stop at Yum Yum Donuts on the way home last Friday.  Lance purchased, then inhaled, a buttermilk stick and a raised sugar donut.

As I was to find out the following morning, I apparently broke the golden rule of DD’ing. No, not “drinking,” but instead, keeping those slightly tipsy away from diet-busting pastries.  Lance was, to put it nicely, not pleased that I turned a blind eye to this human tragedy.

So I did what any rationale person would do in order to maintain peace in their household: I offered to eat two donuts myself, thus cancelling out Lance’s caloric consumption with my own (do the math, it works. I think).

Yes, friends, I’m like the fabled 19th century congressman Henry Clay, otherwise known as “The Great Compromiser”…except without the whole “capitulating to human slavery” thing.