As you may recall, Friday is when we let our hair down and GO CRAZY at Ruby Tuesday. While, as the designated driver, I enjoy a nice pomegranate tea, Lance prefers to imbibe on such put-hair-on-your-chest concoctions as the Georgia Peach and the Sunset Oasis (check Lance’s chest hair to see if this statement is accurate).
Now, as anybody who’s had a couple of dranks will know, the urge to munch is strong, practically impossible to overcome. That’s why we made a pit stop at Yum Yum Donuts on the way home last Friday. Lance purchased, then inhaled, a buttermilk stick and a raised sugar donut.
As I was to find out the following morning, I apparently broke the golden rule of DD’ing. No, not “drinking,” but instead, keeping those slightly tipsy away from diet-busting pastries. Lance was, to put it nicely, not pleased that I turned a blind eye to this human tragedy.
So I did what any rationale person would do in order to maintain peace in their household: I offered to eat two donuts myself, thus cancelling out Lance’s caloric consumption with my own (do the math, it works. I think).
Yes, friends, I’m like the fabled 19th century congressman Henry Clay, otherwise known as “The Great Compromiser”…except without the whole “capitulating to human slavery” thing.