Travel Tuesday: Harry Potter and the Prescription of Ass-kaban

Now, I don’t want to blame Lance’s prescription for our less-than-stellar first visit to Universal Orlando’s The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

…but I am. [Editor’s note: Love ya, boo!]

I need to backtrack and provide a little context: Lance, per the usual, was having his Bi-monthly Health Crisis (seriously, he passed 30 and his body just began shutting down).  This time, Lance was experiencing (TMI warning!) a near-full-body rash.  We speculated for weeks as the rash grew more irritated and scaly: was it an allergic reaction? it was itching so bad, could it be bed bugs? and so on.

Finally, Lance got himself to a doctor, who couldn’t pinpoint the cause but figured it must be an allergy, and prescribed the steroid Prednisone to combat it.  I didn’t know much about Prednisone except I was under the impression that prescription steroids were supposed to be heavy-hitters: take a few and whatever was ailing you would be knocked flat on its ass.

Well, according to Lance, a side effect of Prednisone is that it makes you a giant rage monster.

So that’s how we ended up in this Chili’s.  On the night of our arrival, we were to go to Artist Point, one of Walt Disney World’s signature restaurants in the achingly wonderful Wilderness Lodge (more on this in a future post).  However, we were having one of those travel days where we were both on edge and snipping at each other.  That, and Artist Point ain’t cheap, so I figured, “Why spend the money when we’re both miserable and certainly wouldn’t have a good time?”

The rest of the trip was fraught with bickering, day in and day out.  This isn’t all Lance’s fault; when traveling, especially when the trip is understood to be “mine,” I am very sensitive to Lance’s mood.  Is he having a good time? I’ll worry.  Is he mad? Is waiting in line for Revenge of the Mummy going to lead to divorce??  

Whenever I notice Lance being quiet or distant, I prod him.  “Baby, what’s wrong?”  And that leads to us fighting over who’s being too sensitive, who’s spending too much time buying luggage at the Tumi outlet when we should be at Universal or Islands of Adventure, etc…

My pal Brian is a champion of the Universal Orlando Resort (which includes the second park, Islands of Adventure) and after a recent series of articles he wrote for Theme Park Tourist, I was very excited to re-visit after nearly a six year absence.

We somehow slept in fairly late (something I never do) on our first full day in Orlando, and in my anxiousness to get to the park in an attempt to avoid lines, I ended up rushing us out the door and making everything even more tense.

When we arrived at the Universal resort, we headed straight for Islands of Adventure, where the Wizarding World of Harry Potter is, tucked in the back.  As we weaved through Seuss Landing and The Lost Continent, I was hit with a wave of disappointment.  Beyond just the light crowds limiting the energy in the air, both areas were in need of some TLC.  Seuss really needs a paint-job after its unique facade has faded in the Florida sun, and The Lost Continent (along with the Jurassic Park section) is stuffed with cheap carnival games.  Was Universal not the theme park powerhouse aiming to knock Disney off its perch, as it’s portrayed online?

But as we rounded the corner into Hogsmeade, it was obvious what had people excited about Universal: The Wizarding World of Harry Potter is drop-dead gorgeous, the theming and immersiveness so spot-on to the film series that you can’t help but chugging down a butterbeer or perusing through Honeyduke’s.

There are three rides in TWWoHP: the fairly standard kiddie-coaster Flight of the Hippogriff (really, go on this for the queue alone, which features and animatronic Buckbeak and a swell recreation of Hagrid’s hut), Dragon Challenge (a Goblet of Fire-overlay of the preexisting Dueling Dragons coaster), and the absolutely mind-blowing Hogwarts walkthrough/crazy ride, Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey.  I was completely taken aback by the whole of …Forbidden Journey, an amazing experience through and through, with such a unique ride vehicle technology that you really feel like you’ve never seen anything like it.  And the queue, which is more than half the fun! The “line” for the actual ride takes you through Hogwarts, up staircases lined with moving portraits, through Dumbledore’s headmaster office and the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, and past the Sorting Hat.

TWWoHP is, I’m inclined to say, on par with Tokyo DisneySea as far as escapism is concerned.  When you’re winding your way through the back alleys of Hogsmeade, or inside Ollivander’s watching somebody being paired with a wand, it’s truly incredible.  (My only complaint while actually inside of TWWoHP was being able to see the warehouse-like showbuilding for …Forbidden Journey just past the Hogwarts facade.) The main downside is its size: TWWoHP doesn’t take up a lot of land, and therefore you feel like it’s over almost once it’s begun.  The Diagon Alley expansion, due later this summer, will bring so much more depth and space to this really wonderful land.

I’ll report back next week about the rest of our time at Universal, particularly the expansion of the Simpsons area, which is also terrifically swell.  We honestly spent 90% of our time at Universal and Islands of Adventure in one of these two lands.

But, back to Lance, who was not only suffering from Rage Monster-itis, but also a side-effect of nausea.  After a kind Universal team member let us into the express queue for …Forbidden Journey, Lance’s time with attractions was limited.  Harry Potter, Transformers, Simpsons, and more all rely on similar-ish ride systems, where the guest is basically whipped around in front of IMAX-esque screens where the “action” is projected.  Even though we took motion sickness meds before we set foot in the park, Lance couldn’t make it past Harry Potter.  I rode alone for the rest of the day, which made us breeze through Marvel Super Hero Island and Universal Studios.

Looking back, this trip was kinda a dud (except for the food, which I’ll address in a future post).  Lance and I fought every day, even though we were both trying out best to keep things in perspective–I mean, it WAS the Prednisone, not either of us, that was causing a lot of the personality conflicts during this trip.  And while it was disappointing to think about how much money we spent to have a less-than-stellar time, I also had to remind myself that we’ve been together for almost seven years and have made countless trips together–not every one is going to earn a gold star.

And heck, I was in Hogsmeade with a frozen butterbeer. Who am I to complain?

Travel Tuesday: Dollywood or Bust

Like some sort of religious zealot, Lance must make an annual pilgrimage to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, home to Dolly Parton’s eponymous amusement park.  On our previous visit, we bought season passes, good from the holiday season of 2012 through the end of 2013; given that the season pass price was only ~$30 more than a 1-day ticket, we took a gamble, figuring we’d definitely be back in 2013.

Yet the close of 2013 was rapidly approaching, and we hadn’t once set foot on Wild Eagle OR Blazing Fury. Decisions had to be made.

We again decided to visit Dollywood during the park’s annual Smoky Mountain Christmas.  The weather is cool in Tennessee that time of year and Dollywood is literally wrapped to the nines in Christmas lights.  Dollywood, not surprisingly in a Southern state, also runs a fair split of Christian and secular holiday shows, which is kinda charming, if you don’t think too much of the “organized Christianity’s long history of discrimination against gays” thing.

Now, Dollywood is a TREK from Philadelphia.  It’s not really economical to fly (PHL-Knoxville is like $450 round-trip per person during this time of year), and while the drive is scenic, it takes 11+ hours.  ELEVEN HOURS.  Sweet lord.  Driving that in a Ford Fiesta too, while great on gas mileage, will make you go stir crazy. No amount of Hardee’s Thickburgers can make it bearable.  I was kinda hoping that this trip would get me out of having to visit Dollywood for at least another 18 months.  It was just too much time in the car to ask of someone…

We arrived in Pigeon Forge on Saturday night, with just a few hours left before the park closed for the night.  The place was jam-packed with thousands of locals there to catch the holiday parade; after spending a half-hour just getting from our parking spot to the gate, we shimmied our way to the back of the park for the terrific Mystery Mine and Wild Eagle coasters.

On Sundays during the holiday season, the park doesn’t open until 2:00pm.  Still, we felt like seven hours in Dollywood justified the drive, so we spent the morning taking a scenic drive through the Smoky Mountain National Park, which we’d never done before.

On the way up a mountain, we saw a bunch of pick-up trucks (of course) pulled over.  City-slick gawkers that we are, we rubbernecked only to find…A BEAR. And not the kinda bears us urbanites are used to…HEY-O!

Yup, just a cub hanging out in the trees near the side of the road.  Lance and I both speculated that this could’ve been some elaborate trap by the bear family to lure in stupid tourists. We felt like we were in a good position, though, since most of the other spectators were significantly…larger and most likely slower than us.  (This is what happens when you have dozens of pancake restaurants in your town.)

Lance doing his best Rafiki.

Unfortunately, with the afternoon came rain, and right as we were in line waiting to be let in to Dollywood, it started to drizzle.  And didn’t stop all afternoon.

JAM-PACKED in Timber Canyon.

6:00pm rolled around, just four hours into park operation for the day, and ropes started going up in front of ride queues.  We were soaked, but we were committed to getting the most out of this season pass which we’d only used twice.

“Is the park closing?” I asked a Dollywood employee.  It was supposed to stay open for another three hours.

“Yup, bad weather coming this way,” she said.

So Dollywood management just decided to shut down the park early.  We looked at the forecast, and the weather was not anticipated to get any worse than it had been all day.  Lance and I figured that it was probably related to the very light crowd in the park all day–it wasn’t cost-effective to leave the park open for maybe 100 guests.

Lance was obviously disappointed–Dollywood is practically his second home (aside from Bath & Body Works…and Pei Wei…and Target…).  I was disappointed because we’d spent 11 hours in the car the day before to get here and only got six total hours in the park.  I was on the verge of breaking down into tears thinking that all that driving was for naught.

On the way out of the park, I made sure to visit Guest Relations.  “They’re going to make this right, dammit!” I said, though I didn’t know how much of a case we’d have as season passholders who just happened not to have used their season passes all year.

“Well, we can offer you essentially a rain check pass to come back during the 2014 year,” the Guest Relationships rep told us.  We took it.

So now we basically HAVE to go back to Dollywood in 2014 in order to take advantage of our free passes (I’m not one to easily pass up a good deal.)  Which means another 22+ hour roundtrip commute to eastern Tennessee.

GAH.

Travel Tuesday: Faith, Trust…and Pixie Dust

The thought of traveling with a group of people can create a lot of apprehension among those of us with social anxiety. But for our first trip to Disneyland, I took–what was for me–a leap of faith (or craziness? Aren’t they sometimes the same thing?) and invited our friends to join us.

We Crash Club 33

Here’s the story of Lance+Jeff and Brian and Phil at Club 33…and how we almost ruined our chances of ever returning.

First, an introduction for the Disney laypersons: Disneyland’s Club 33 might be the holy grail for the most intense fans of Disney Parks.  And somehow, we got in.

Photo Friday: Gratuitous Pictures of Your Husband at Disneyland

After six-plus years of being together, it’s always nice to step back, assess the BIG PICTURE, and come to the same conclusion: my husband is quite the catch.

Now I present the best way to cap off your work-week, a series of photos of Lance enjoying Disneyland.  What better way to enjoy the Happiest Place on Earth than with such an adorable guy? (Cameos by two other handsome gentlemen, Brian and Phil.)

Mayhem on the Matterhorn!

Splash Mountain super-selfie.

In the queue for Haunted Mansion Holiday. The guy on the left is not a hitchhiking ghost; he just has naturally dark circles under his eyes.

Waiting to catch the Aladdin stage show in Disney California Adventure. Lance’s smile will disappear 40 minutes later once he realizes we spent $100 a person to buy tickets for the upcoming Broadway production, which will likely not be as good.

Mad T Party in Hollywoodland.

Okay, so maybe Lance didn’t enjoy EVERY aspect of Disneyland…

Mater’s Junkyard Jamboree selfie.

Well, I know all those pics put me in a better mood. Happy Friday, everyone!

Our Disneyland Mixtape

Christmas was just a few weeks after we got back from Disneyland, and I was scrambling at the last minute to come up with some stocking stuffers for Lance that wouldn’t break the bank.

I’d already purchased some “legal enough for eBay” Disneyland and California Adventure attraction posters, like the Enchanted Tiki Room and the Peoplemover, for Lance, since he nearly bought them for himself while we were in California but was too indecisive about which one he wanted.

Still, I felt like I hadn’t done enough to commemorate/hadn’t beaten the dead horse of our Disneyland trip enough.

What to do, what to do…

I’m one of those assholes who still likes High Fidelity after all this time, and the most important lesson I walked away with from that movie is how awesome (read: not lazy or cheap) a thoughtful, carefully-edited mixtape can be. (Too bad I didn’t see these cassette tape-themed USB devices before Christmas, ’cause they really would’ve been the kicker.)  Not everybody holds this view; mixtapes probably seem outdated in the Playlist Era. But like a Christmas card, I believe that giving something tangible adds just a little weight to your intentions.

Let’s go down the track-list, shall we?

1. “California (Tchad Blake Mix)” by Phantom Planet: 

This was an easy, if outdated, one.  Even though I don’t think either of us have watched an episode of “The O.C.” in our lives, Phantom Planet’s decade-old anthem to heading west is still what plays in my head whenever I wait to board a plane to the Golden State.

2 and 3. “Walt Disney’s Dedication to Disneyland” and “All Aboard! (Main Street Station!) from Disney’s Happiest Celebration on Earth:

Now that we’re in California, who better to welcome us than Walt Disney? To fully complete our transition into the lands of yesterday, tomorrow, and fantasy, let’s board the Disneyland and Sante Fe Railroad, the E.P. Ripley, at the Main Street Station.

4. “The Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room” from Disney’s Happiest Celebration on Earth:

One of our favorite attractions at the Disney parks, the perfect example of what sets Disney apart from their theme park competitors. Who would think that a show about animatronic birds, flowers, and tikis would still survive–and thrive!–fifty years later in our jaded, cynical times?  A pure delight, through and through…and it helps that they sell Dole Whips right outside.

5. “Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye” from Disney’s Happiest Celebration on Earth:

Okay, this might actually be our favorite Disney attraction, a sister attraction to “Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Crystal Skull” in Tokyo DisneySea. An exceedingly well-executed adventure in the footsteps of Indiana Jones as he attempts to escape the destructive gaze of the god Mara.

6. “Welcome to Radiator Springs” by Joe Louis Walker from The Music of Cars Land:

I expected to be ambivalent, at least, to California Adventure’s Cars-themed area since I’m very lukewarm on the films, but like most visitors, we were completely sold by the mid-century-beauty of Radiator Springs.  Cars Land is filled with ’50s and ’60s background pop-rock music, mixed with originals like this song written for a drive down Route 66.

7. “Space Mountain (New Daytime Track)” by Michael Giacchino from Disney’s Happiest Celebration on Earth:

Lance I both love Oscar-winner Michael Giacchino’s work on Up, Ratatouille, Lost, Alias and Fringe, so of course we’d love this thematic mashup of The Incredibles and Star Trek for a truly retro trip around the cosmos.

8. “World of Color (Orchestral Theme)”:

World of Color is the beautiful, breathtaking nighttime show (how?? It’s just water and lights!) in Disney California Adventure, and its intro/finale music is heartstring-plucking Disney magic at its best.

9. “Dance With Me Tonight” by Olly Murs

How could I not select this as the big finale of our Disneyland playlist? Our good buddy and Disneyland companion Brian hand-selected this song for his DisneySide video about our trip (it’s above and you should totally watch it!), and it seemed like a perfect musical fit to our trip to the Happiest Place on Earth.

Disneyland: One Little Spark

I try to avoid being a stereotype, so I go out of my way to dress as shabbily as possible, listen to alt-rock instead of Kylie Minogue (no, I do that too. Whoops…but at least I had to look up how to spell her last name!), and I definitely do not pay much mind to interior design.  All of these things are what I have Lance around for.

A “chandelier” at Flo’s V8 Cafe.

However, one particular element of design I find really fascinating is light.  John Hench, one of Disney Parks’ most–if not the most–influential Imagineers, wrote extensively on color and environment in his book, Designing Disney.  These things help to create the fantastical, immersive atmosphere that separates Disney parks from the everyday [Proofreader Mom, is that the right use of “everyday”?].

The Sorcerer’s Workshop.

So, of course, the use and design of interior and exterior lights is very influential in establishing and maintaining a very specific mood, just as important as the design of buildings, the employment of background music, cast member costumes, etc.

1901 Lounge.

Disney Parks the world over provide a opportunity to see a great variety of designs in a contained space, as Imagineers strive to provide not only an authentic experience–like in the case of 1901 Lounge in Disney California Adventure, which is inspired by high-rolling Hollywood executive lounges of the 1920s and ’30s–but also a “plus”-ed version of whatever they are representing.  It’s not enough to look like an elite tinseltown club, 1901 has to look like something straight from a movie, everything a slight fantasy.

1901 Lounge.

1901 Lounge.

1901 Lounge.

Above: I love these globe lamps in the 1901 bar area!

Cathay Circle Lounge.

I am by no means an expert on light fixture design–I’m sure there are lots of scientific and artsy-fartsy terms for all of this stuff–but these diamond-shaped lights are amazing, probably my favorite of any I’ve seen in a Disney park.

Carthay Circle Restaurant.

Carthay Circle Restaurant.

Is there any space in the Disneyland Resort more beautiful than the Carthay Circle Restaurant?

Here’s a sneak peak inside and around the exclusive (ooh, ain’t we fancy?) Club 33, which I’ll discuss in a future post:

Club 33.

New Orleans Square.

Club 33 foyer.

Club 33…near the bathrooms.

Club 33.

Club 33.

As I mentioned, the variety is seemingly endless: from Victorian French Quarter to a bar on the edge of exploration to the neon glow of Route 66.  Beautiful!

Trader Sam’s Enchanted Tiki Bar.

The Cozy Cone Motel.

To The Park That Walt Built

What could be Mecca for Disney fans but Walt Disney’s original Magic Kingdom, Disneyland?

I’d been discouraged from visiting Disneyland before. “It’s so small. You’ve been to Disney World; you won’t be impressed.”  And there’s the never-ending East Coast/West Coast rivalry, trying fruitlessly (wait, wait, I’m setting up something good…) to compare the apples-versus-oranges natures of the Anaheim and Lake Buena Vista resorts.

After my Adult Disney Renaissance (a term I think is attributable to @macabresalad over at Food*Fitness*Fantasy), I read up a lot on the creation of the Disney parks, and I kept feeling drawn toward California.  Regardless of how much more expansive and operationally impressive Walt Disney World is, I became obsessed with seeing this little nugget of a park, the park that changed the amusement and entertainment industry forever, the park that’s rooted deep in the history of a corporate canon so engrained into my psyche.

I was fortunate enough to sucker two of the best fellas and Disney parks companions a guy could ask for into attending our first Disneyland visit with us. The promise of a Club 33 reservation didn’t hurt none, I’m sure! (More on that in a future post.)

When Lance, Phil, Brian and I walked under the Disneyland railroad archways and through to Main Street, U.S.A., it was like we were escape artists pulling off our biggest trick, slipping out of reality.  It was early December, and the park was dripping from head-to-toe in festive decorations, Christmas background music carrying through the air, characters greeting in Town Square in holiday garb…there was an energy in the air I’ve never experienced to such a degree before.

I’ve been trying to put my thumb on it for awhile, and I’m sure my eventual conclusion is nothing new: there’s such an emotional investment in Disneyland by the majority of its guests, locals who have been attending since they were kids. Disneyland is their land. They have a special sense of ownership over it, and they treat it with respect. Disneyland is not a once-in-a- or few-times-a-lifetime experience for visitors like Walt Disney World is; it’s part of the community.  Disneyland often meets the standards these return visitors expect.  In the same vein, people who go to Disneyland, for the most part, go because they love it, not because they feel compelled to lug their kids to a big resort as part of the American Dream/Requirement.

There are loads of live entertainment: jazz musicians in New Orleans Square; Mary Poppins, Bert and their big brass band in front of Sleeping Beauty Castle; the Mickey and the Magical Map stage show and the vaudevillian Fantasy Faire Royal Theatre productions; the bands under the tent of the Big Thunder Ranch Jamboree.

…and that’s not even counting Disney California Adventure!

Disneyland is chock-full of attractions, doubling(?) the number in Florida’s Magic Kingdom close to the point of claustrophobia, though I’d like to think of it as cozy.

That’s actually how I feel about the whole park.  It feels cozy, like a warm blanket or a cherished stuffed animal from your childhood.  It feels like a home away from home, a truly idealized mix of fantasy and nostalgia, both for Americana and the pop culture icons of my youth.

I have so many other thoughts on Disneyland, on California Adventure, and our whole experience which I’ll elaborate on soon, but for this post, I just wanted to share how immensely enthralled I was by the whole park.  Disney’s California operation is a park-based experience, unlike Florida, which is an all-encompassing resort experience once you get off the airplane. Now, I’m not saying one approach is better than the other; as mentioned above, it’s apples-versus-oranges, and which coast is better is based on your personal preferences.

What I want from a Disney park right now is the in-park experience, the attractions, the entertainment, the “show.” I was disappointed with our most recent trips to Walt Disney World, where we easily knocked out  most of a park’s attractions in a half-day.  I was concerned after our visit to Tokyo Disney Resort that the American Disney parks had just given up on the park experience by comparison in favor to finding new ways to milk their guests out of money.

I think about this inaugural Disneyland trip every day. Disneyland assuaged my fears and made me a believer again.

Waimea Canyon Drive

On our last day on Kaua’i, with a late evening flight to Honolulu ahead of us, we didn’t want to lay out on the beach or do a strenuous amount of hiking since we didn’t want to sit on a plane, even for a 35 minute trip, being all sweaty and gross.  So we hopped in our little Mazda 2 rental and made our way south from Kapa’a.  Our destination? Waimea Canyon.

I remember the first time I’d even heard of Waimea Canyon, on a friend’s Instagram of all places.  Like Na Pali, I was immediately drawn to its natural beauty (we don’t see a lot of this jaw-droppin’ stuff where I come from.)

While the label “The Grand Canyon of the Pacific” is erroneously credited to Mark Twain (who, in his travels to the Aloha State, never stepped foot on Kaua’i), the title is an appropriate moniker.  While not as deep or wide (that’s what she said?) as ol’ GC, Waimea is a gorgeous watercolor of greens, reds, oranges.

“Are you crying?” Lance said, obviously delighted over my emotional reaction to…well, anything.

“No, it’s windy up here and suntan lotion and shut up, you stupid jerk!” I whimpered, wiping tears from my eyes.

If you take 550 further inland, up to it’s dead-end deep inside Waimea Canyon State Park, you’ll dead-end at the second Kalalau Valley lookout, which straddles the top of a ridge overlooking rolling trees to the east, the grandeur of Kalalau Valley to the east, and Wai’ale’ale ahead of you, one of the rainiest spots on earth.

For two kids from topographically-challenged areas of the United States, this double-whammy of incredible sights was hard to comprehend.  It definitely made me appreciate, right in that moment, how fortunate I am and my ability to even be there to see these things.

Na Pali

If you’re sick of more Hawai’i posts after our vacation absence from the blog, well, I hate to break it to ya, but…

Instead of our normal day-by-day trip report, we’re gonna break down our latest, greatest Hawai’i trip into “experiences.”  This one came from our third full day on Kaua’i (which we’ll talk more about in another post).  I am a faithful user of TripAdvisor and had seen in the zygote-stages of our trip planning that the #1 rated activity on the island of Kaua’i was the Na Pali coastline.

The Na Pali coastline, like everything in the Hawaiian island chain, has been formed by millennia of volcanic activity, erosion, etc. etc. (Wikipedia, to my aid!)  The ruggedness of the mountains, cliffs and valleys of Na Pali have made roadbuilding untenable, so the only way to access the northwest side of Kaua’i is by helicopter or to hike (I couldn’t afford the former and am seriously too lazy to do the latter.)

After seeing trip report photos of Na Pali, I knew, in the deepest parts of my shallow soul, that I had to go to there.  It seemed beautifully, naturally impossible, and I had to see it.  I poured over several dozen reviews of different boat and catamaran tours of the Na Pali coast, and finally settled on the Southern Star sunset cruise run by Captain Andy’s out of Port Allen.  It wasn’t cheap (about $145 a person), but it included a freshly made-steak dinner and as many drinks as you could drink, so after doing some fuzzy math, Lance and I were able to justify the expense.

As soon as the boat left the dock, dozens of spinner dolphins came up along side to greet us, jumping and (duh) spinning wildly in the air.

I don’t have the greatest photographic equipment, so no fancy jumping photos for you, dear readers!

Lance, of course, sobbed like a baby upon seeing a school of dolphins play in their natural habitat. “It’s the salt in the air!” he said, wiping away tears.

The first half of the tour had us motoring up the coast, and the water was pretty choppy (and it’s supposed to be rougher in the winter!) so we got fairly soaked if sat anywhere outside (though why you’d sit inside the cabin at all during this tour makes little sense to me.)

Sea cave!

The first stretch of Na Pali along the south side, right after you pass the naval station, is pretty “flat;” lots of red and brown and gray rock, shorn by pummeling winds which, we were told, only surpassed by the Cliffs of Dover for their intensity.

Ahoy, mateys!

As we made our way north, the cliffs became much more rugged and fantastical.  These photos with my shitty point n’ shoot don’t do them justice.  Vibrant greens, reds, and browns highlighted this impressive, practically alien terrain.  Not only did we spot waterfalls cascading down these cliffs, but mountain goats too! (Unfortunately, no photos exist of the mountain goat because he was SUPER far away.)

Once we approached Ke’e Beach on the north shore of the island, which is the last beach you can access via car from the opposite direction, the catamaran shut off its motor and the crew began hoisting the sail.  They also starting passing out “Sneaky Tikis,” a rum-based cocktail of which Lance took full advantage.

As the sun set behind Niihau, the Forbidden Isle, (just behind Lance’s head in the photo above), our tummies full and, at least with Lance, heads a little fuzzy from too many cocktails, the Southern Star swept closer to port.

This post was hard to write because trying to articulate, much less justify, what we saw seemed impossible.  Nevertheless, we both said to each other, afterwards, that the expense was totally worth it.  Heck, it wasn’t even worth considering.  The sail was a marvelous experience, Na Pali spectacular.

Lance summed it up in a way that made my heart all tingly: “Best day ever.”