25X: A Gay Fattie’s Advent Calendar

blog 12.1.12

Sad news, folks: Lance and I are not doing Christmas this year. We’re full-on “Christmas With the Kranks”-ing it (poor Jamie Lee Curtis.)

In an effort to not spend money that we don’t have to buy things we don’t need, and since we’ve already committed to doing some ridiculous traveling this month, Lance and I are foregoing exchanging gifts.  I mean, heck, Lance is dragging me to Dollywood’s Smoky Mountain Christmas…isn’t that gift enough??

Still, that’s not to say that we won’t enjoy the holiday season–this is Lance’s fave time of year, you know.  I think if Lance had the opportunity, he’d pull a Bill Murray (who, aside: Lance hates, by the way! What happened to Lance to make him develop such a distaste for our American treasures??) and “Groundhog Day” Christmas.  Though, I guess Erik von Detten already did that in that Family Channel movie, “Christmas Every Day.”

Mmm, late-’90s Erik von Detten

Ahem.

Anyway, in an effort to envelope us in some Christmas cheer, we thought we’d bring y’all one separate thing we love about this holiday season every day up through Christmas.  Today’s favorite little nugget: Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes.

These snack cakes, which I imagine are comprised of the same jet fuel-derived ingredients that Twinkies (R.I.P.) were made of, are admittedly one of those things that I happened to enjoy as a kid, of which nostalgia now completely masks the flavor.  I know, as an adult, that these things don’t have much taste beyond a fainy waxiness, but I just love ’em.  I love the way the white frosting coating cracks as you bite into them, how the green sprinkles grind the enamel off of your teeth as you’re chomping down.

Unfortunately, I’ve yet to find these little suckers this year.

We were in Target the other day, where I had convinced myself that I just had to buy a box of these things as “research” for this post.  We headed to the “seasonal cakes” section, only to find that they had the hexagon-shaped cakes, but no Christmas Trees.

“Where the hell are my G*$@%&#% CHRISTMAS TREE CAKES??” I screamed as I threw boxes of Santa Brownies across the aisle in frustration.

I fell to my knees and wept.

“Good lord,” Lance bemoaned, though taking some pleasure at this crack in my “tough guy” exterior.

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3 thoughts on “25X: A Gay Fattie’s Advent Calendar

  1. Pingback: 25X: Christmas Compilation Albums « Lance + Jeff

  2. Pingback: 25X: The Great Christmas Purge « Lance + Jeff

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