Birthday Boy


Let’s all wish Lance a happy seventh anniversary of his twenty-fifth birthday! Huzzah!

Unfortunately, friends, even though Lance loves birthdays, he does not like his birthday being acknowledged by restaurant waitstaff (this is part of a larger issue with public attention being directed toward Lance at all. ย Must’ve been due to his legendary turn as Motel in his high school production of Fiddler on the Roof.)

Every year when we go out for his birthday dinner, I joke about how I’m gonna get the waiters to sing whatever copyright-abiding “Happy Birthday” ditty they’ve written for the restaurant.

…And every year, Lance’s death-stare and verbal responses get more and more extreme:

2008: “If they sing, I will immediately walk out of this restaurant.”

2009: “If you make them sing, I will slit your throat.”

2010: “If they sing to me, I will rip out your intestines and churn them up in a blender.”

2011: “If they sing, I’m going to stab out your eyeballs and pour a cauldron of boiling oil on you.”

Who knows what 2012 will bring…!!!!


3 thoughts on “Birthday Boy

  1. Pingback: Laughing Is Important in a Relationship « t.c.jock

  2. Pingback: Thanks, Y’All « Lance + Jeff

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