When we rescued Kitty all those years ago (well, like two), she came factory-declawed. I wouldn’t declaw a cat myself, but, you know, it has its advantages and we weren’t going to turn her down.
And so, for many a year (read: two), declawed Kitty and her two daddies were happily living life, chock full o’ purring, belly rubbins, and lap-sittin’.
Then the big, bouncing monster known as Ripley came along.
Kitty, ever the lady, didn’t want to seem rude at first, and would graciously allow Rip to get close to her; I guess she assumed he’d just bow to Her Majesty, but unfortunately, that approach was more like “a precursor to a pounce,” and soon Kitty was underfoot (err, paw).
Eventually, Kitty tried to assert her dominance by batting at Rip’s snout any time he got too close. The bad news? Without a sharp-clawed deterrent, Rip just saw Kitty’s bats as a cute, rhythmic petting. He didn’t really take the hint that Kitty is boss and doesn’t care to play with him.
I feel bad. Kitty is my princess and deserves better than to be under constant threat of a dog-based terror attack. I need to give her the tools in which to defend herself.
Kitty needs to be weaponized.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild her. We have the technology.